A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...
- "Isn't it Ironic?" by Alanis Morissette
Well... no. None of those things are ironic. This mediocre song has gotten plenty of literalists irritated with the lyrics because most of the things mentioned don't fit the definition of ironic:using words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning
There are things that are considered ironic beyond simple phrases. Here are some news stories that deliver what I would call "situational irony"...
Dr. Ronnie Floyd of the five-branch Pinnacle Cross Church - the preacher of the church that the Duggar family attends - said that Caitlyn [nee Bruce] Jenner's sins against God are like abusing children and family members
“If you are created a man, you are specifically and intentionally created a man. So, don’t try to be something else,” the pastor warned, adding that Jenner’s claim that she “thinks like a woman” was “sad.”
Floyd argued that “we’re all broken” but the “Grace of God” prevented church-goers from thinking “confused and twisted” thoughts.
“Anytime we demean the value of human beings, we violate what God intends for that human being,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what the situation is. A child, a spouse, a family member. Doesn’t matter what it is.
Down in Florida, home of George "Quick-draw" Zimmerman, we find him on the receiving end of a gun. The shooter may get away with shooting at Zimmerman the same way that Zimmerman did - claiming Stand Your Ground
The man accused of shooting at George Zimmerman will use a "stand your ground" defense in an attempt to clear himself, his lawyer said Friday.
"That's a good look into the future," said Michael Lafay moments after a bond hearing for his client, Matthew Apperson, a 36-year-old Winter Springs man accused of firing into Zimmerman's pickup May 11 as the two traveled in separate vehicles down West Lake Mary Boulevard.
"And, of course, as you know," Lafay said, "Mr. Zimmerman is no stranger to a 'stand your ground' situation."
Heading west to Texas, the governor there was very suspicious of the Federal military coming to his state, and whipped up a frenzy of anti-federal ferver. Senator Ted Cruz in years past called storm relief funds "pork". So what happens when their
state gets hit with devastating flooding? They have to go the federal government hat in hand and ask for help
...just over a month ago, hundreds of Texans decided that a pending Navy Seal and Green Beret joint training exercise was really an excuse to take over the state and impose martial law. And they claimed the Federal Emergency Management Agency was erecting prison camps, readying Wal-Mart stores as processing centers for political prisoners.
There are nutcases everywhere, but Texas Governor Greg Abbott added to that particular outpouring of paranoia by ordering the Texas State Guard to monitor the military exercise. “It is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed upon,” he said. In other words, he’d protect Texans from this federal plot.
Now Abbott wants federal money. And the Federal Emergency Management Agency is gearing up for a major role in the cleanup—including places like Bastrop, Texas, where the Bastrop State Park dam failed—and where, just five weeks ago, a U.S. Army colonel trying to explain the pending military exercise was shouted down by hundreds of self-described patriots yelling “liar!”
How many times have we heard Republicans poo-pooing climate change and its effect on weather with statements that began "I'm not a scientist, but...". They denigrate science left and right, especially when it involves evolution that flies in the face of their creationism religious dogma. How delicious and infuriating then to have one of them denounce a religious leader because said leader is not a scientist
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum said this week that he was a “huge fan” of Pope Francis but that the pontiff should stop buying into the global warming debate and, instead, “leave the science to the scientists.”
During a Monday interview with WPHT, host Dom Giordano noted that Pope Francis was expected to urge lawmakers to take action on climate change when he visits the U.S. later this year.
“The church has gotten it wrong a few times on science, and I think that we probably are better off leaving science to the scientists,” the candidate insisted.
Instead, Santorum encouraged the church to focus on “what we’re really good at, which is theology and morality.”
Hey Rick - I agree with you. Stop putting religion into politics and science!!
Finally - everyone knows that Bernie Sanders is pretty much a socialist. For decades, Republicans have been the guardians at the gate, preventing that nasty socialism from infecting our Chosen Land of Corporate Capitalism (except for, you know, roads, police, fire services, public libraries, etc., etc., etc...). Older republicans, however, actually like those (and other) services provided by the government, and are falling under Bernie's spell
Republicans should start quaking in fear of Bernie Sanders, because his appeal is growing, and not just with young voters. Voters in his own age group are also drawn to him and his message. Sanders is 73, and the older generation currently makes up a large and critical piece of the Republican base. So the fact that he’s appealing to older people is not good news for Republicans.
Sanders is an independent from Vermont, however he caucuses with the Democrats and is running for the Democratic presidential nomination. According to an article in The New York Times, the people he’s appealing to are the people who remember a time when the top tax bracket was 90 percent, and the middle class thrived while the wealthy actually paid taxes.
Our top tax rate now is too low, with way too many loopholes, under the flawed and failed ideas of trickle-down economics. We don’t have a system that rewards work, it punishes work, and rewards greed. Back then, the system didn’t allow for the kind of greed we have today nearly as easily.
Sanders’ message of tax the rich, redistribute wealth, and bring back a strong government that takes care of its people, tends to resonate with Millennials and the youngest Gen-Xers, who are still young enough to be idealistic. However, the older generation—the one that we expect to vote Republican—finds itself moved by Sanders’ evocations of times when things were better, thanks in part to a government that was strong enough to care about people.
So - what say you, dear reader? Do these fall under the label of "ironic"?