Sorry I’ve not been by to visit of late, but this is Velveeta’s busy time of year. And, among other things I’ve gotten dreadfully behind in my thank you letters:
Clarion Fund
255 W. 63 Street
New York, NY 10001
Dear Mr. Clarion,
Thank you for the lovely, and quite unexpected, gift of a DVD entitled “Obsession, Radical Islam’s war Against the West”. I don’t know how little ol’ me qualified for such bounty, but I am never one to question my good fortunes.
I would be remiss for not properly thanking you for the gift; however, I do hope that you did not require more of a commitment from me, such as a review of the film. If so, I must be honest and inform you that an accident befell my sweet gift.
In my unwrapping excitement, the disc fell onto my tile kitchen floor, landing, as fate would have it, on the “play” side. While attempting to pick it up, I clumsily stepped on it and slide across the room! Sadly, and with great sorrow, I must tell you that through some bizarre happenstance, and with DVD still underfoot, we slide across the kitchen like a splayed gazelle on ice, over the room divide and into the great room with its rustic knotty pine floor, continuing into the bedroom and finally coming to rest in my bathroom at the base of the commode!
You can only imagine my horror and grief when I was able to retrieve my gift and found that it was scratched beyond repair!
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