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Who is Petey?
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 08/19/2012 14:08:01

Now that Willard has picked his running mate to lose the election with, many people are wondering, "who the heck is this guy"?

Of course we all know about his stint as TV's Eddie Munster and many have watched the E! "Whatever happened to.." show about him, but thanks to your intrepid reporter here at 4 Freedoms, I can tell you everything you didn't know about him and probably didn't want to know. You've heard all about the Ryan budget and his love and strict following of uh admiration of hmm, somewhat fondness of Ayn Rand, but did you also know that he's a huge fan of rebellious music?

Yes, indeedy. If you were to open his iPod (actually he owns the Sansa Fuze mp3 player) you'd be shocked to find music from, Bruce Springsteen, Snoop Dogg, Anti-Flag, Selena Gomez and his personal favorite, Rage Against the Machine.

Recently, his love of the latter band shocked it's lead guitarist, Tom Morello, and he wrote a blog for Rolling Stone magazine

Ryan claims that he likes Rage's sound, but not the lyrics. Well, I don't care for Paul Ryan's sound or his lyrics. He can like whatever bands he wants, but his guiding vision of shifting revenue more radically to the one percent is antithetical to the message of Rage.

I wonder what Ryan's favorite Rage song is? Is it the one where we condemn the genocide of Native Americans? The one lambasting American imperialism? Our cover of "Fuck the Police"? Or is it the one where we call on the people to seize the means of production? So many excellent choices to jam out to at Young Republican meetings!


His has long said that his favorite type of song are rap songs about pimping: Big Pimpin by Jay-Z, P.I.M.P by Snoop and 50 Cent and anything by Lilly Wayne. But he also loves country music as long as it's not the Dixie Chicks or any chick band for that matter.

Paul loves his mom, Betty, and has recently taken to dragging her out on the campaign trail. His Mother is his inspiration for getting into politics as she once admonished him by saying, "get off your ass you lazy bum and go get a job as an intern for [Rep Bob] Kasten [of WI]".

Early on in his political career he became fascinated with Ayn Rand and even started an online shrine to her where he blogged about her teachings as well as gushed about her physical beauty. He once said about her, "the reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand,". He keeps posters of her on his bedroom walls. And, in a 2005 speech at The Atlas Society, he said he grew up reading Rand, and that her books taught him about his value system and beliefs. Ryan frequently passed out her books and in one case forced a congressional intern to listen to him read "Atlas Shrugged" while tied to a chair and being feed through a feeding tube with a bucket below him for his waste. The intern was never named and later died.

He recently learned that Ayn Rand was an atheist and disavowed her saying, "Really? I don't remember her ever mentioning that she didn't believe in God in any of her books". Petey is a devout Roman Catholic.

Here are just a few of the things that Ryan stands for:
defunding NPR
giving the POTUS line item veto power
Bush tax cuts for the rich

Here are just a few things he's against:
Gays marrying
Gays adopting
Gays teaching
Gays breathing air
Women having abortions even if raped
Women taking birth control
Women visiting Planned Parenthood for any reason
Women getting equal pay (Lily Ledbetter act)
cap and trade
The American Clean Energy and Security Act
the E.P.A and,
The E.P.A's classification of carbon dioxide as a pollutant
Medicare for anyone under 55
Food stamps for anyone
Obamacare (naturally)
Entitlement programs except for corporations
Immigrants in general
any gun restrictions

Well he's against a lot of other stuff as well, but you know, Paul (who loves to be called Petey) is just a hip brother who sings along to Rage Against the Machine:

So called facts are fraud
They want us to allege and pledge
And bow down to their god
Lost the culture, the culture lost
Spun our minds and through time
Ignorance has taken over
Yo, we gotta take the power back!
Bam! heres the plan
Motherfuck uncle sam
Get back, I know who I am
Raise up your ear, I'll drop the style and clear
It's the beats and the lyrics they fear
The rage is relentless
We need a movement with a quickness
You are the witness of change
And to counteract
We gotta take the power back

Yeah, we gotta take the power back
Come on, come on!
We gotta take the power back

7 comments (Latest Comment: 08/19/2012 21:13:25 by TriSec)
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