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Author: velveeta jones    Date: 09/01/2013 14:43:04

Velveeta was SHOCKED and APPALLED that not one rebublican was invited to the anniversary of the March on Washington last week. Major speakers at the rally were President Obama, President Clinton and President Carter as well as U.S. Congressman John Lewis, Caroline Kennedy, Martin Luther King III, Oprah Winfrey, Jamie Foxx all of whom are percieved as Democrats.

Where were all the Republicans? Why were NONE of them invited? Not even George W. Bush or his father Whats-his-name? What about a hologram of Ronnie Reagan performing an old speech a la Tupac?

Seems the NAACP might be - what would you call someone who's bigoted against a certain party - elitist?

Well I am just outraged that.... that...... um. Hold on.

Haha, seems some of the republicans were indeed invited. I'm now looking at the reasons given as to why they couldn't make this important event.

George H.W. Bush was of ill-heath and indeed he is not kidding. We wish him well and a speedy recovery. Certainly much speedier than we recovered from the Reagan era.

George W. Bush was all set to come and had a speech prepared, unfortunately his ranch had an emergency outbreak of rogue brush that needed to be tended to. He sent a note saying that he would be "unable to attend at this time as I attempt to beat this tragedy into submission".

John Boehner was also invited. His excuse was perfectly acceptable as he had already made commitments while he was on his vacation and cited "scheduling conflicts". In his case he was asked to be in a music video! Seems the band Def Leppard is back together and issuing a re-make of their hit song "Pour Some Sugar On Me" featuring Speaker Boner standing on a ladder and pouring honey from a bucket onto a bikini clad babe then in a slo-motion montage, pouring money from another bucket onto her sticky body and she slowly dances in high heels on a stage. Looking forward to seeing this.

Eric Cantor was invited, but had "scheduling conflicts" as well. In his case he had a "honey do" list to beat all "honey do" lists and this would be his only chance to work on them since the Senate kept him so busy. His wife was unavailable for comment.

John McCain was not able to attend though he says that he really, really wanted to, but blamed his staffers for the mix-up in scheduling him to speak and have coffee meet ups with Arizona supporters.

Jeb Bush was also invited and said that he absolutely would attend as soon as he was made President. Mr. Bush added that one of his first duties of his Presidency would be to "re-do" the 50th Anniversary and have an entirely different ceremony marking Dr. Kings "I Have a Dream" speech. His plan includes having Pat Robertson re-enact the famous speech; albeit with a few changes here or there as Pat requested.

Sarah Palin also cited "scheduling conflicts" as why she couldn't attend the event. Her RSVP read in part "I was unaware that this anniversary was upon us. Has it really been 50 years? I'll have to check on that and get back to ya".

Condoleezza Rice was unable to attend, once again, citing that common factor "scheduling conflicts". No further comment was given.

Mitch McConnell was in hiding and no one could find him.

In a last ditch effort to get some sort of bi-partisanship at the event the NAACP reached out to Rush Limbaugh to speak on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. They reminded him that Dr. King was probably a Republican as most blacks were at that time. The conversation was met with a long deathly silence and then a lot of laughter.

So, there you have it. Republicans were indeed invited but were just too darn busy. It happens. Anyway, I have to end this blog now because I have a .... scheduling conflict.

3 comments (Latest Comment: 09/02/2013 02:15:01 by Will in Chicago)
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