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'Murika. What the...?
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 03/01/2015 15:44:11

At this point we must wonder if there's someone poisoning our fellow Republicans. I mean, how do you explain some of this?

We have a serious problem when a person thinks that the vagina is attached to the stomach in some way. It makes you go, 'what the...?' If I told you 5 years ago that republicans would one day claim that rape is a-okay and that lady parts can be accessed through the stomach, you'd have called me crazy. Yet, here we are.
BOISE, Idaho — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam.

The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.

Barbieri later said that the question was rhetorical and intended to make a point.

Dude needs to learn how to make a point; this ain't it.

Dear Rep. Vito Barbieri, thank God the Woo-Woo isn't attached to the stomach in some way, because you'd outlaw abortions due to blow-job pregnancies as well.

Speaking of ladies. Another republican recently informed us that we are nothing more than hosts for babies. I think he means somewhat like a dog is the host for a tick, or a plant with an invasive fungus. I mean, what the...? But yes, we're hosts. No wonder they don't want us to have equal pay.
Once, referring to a woman as a “host” meant you were either joking, Stephenie Meyer, or a radical I went to high school with who liked to call fetuses “parasites.”
Once, referring to a woman as a “host” meant you were either joking, Stephenie Meyer, or a radical I went to high school with who liked to call fetuses “parasites.”

But just last week, Virginia State Senator Steve Martin posted on his Facebook wall, in response to a Valentine from a pro-choice group, that “Once a child does exist in your womb, I’m not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child’s host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn’t want it.” (He updated the post on Monday afternoon to change the language from “host” to “bearer of the child” because THAT fixes it.)

Never tell Martin that you’ve thrown your gross old baby-carrier in a dumpster, or he’ll try to arrest you for murdering your wife

(Well, that's assuming that republicans still want to charge a man with murder of a woman).

CPAC is happening this week, and we should get some doozies of "what the..?"
After all, Sarah Palin and Trump are speaking! Not to mention Laura Ingram (who blamed a woman, Columbia Bush, for being a greedy bitch. Nice.), Ted Cruz and this guy:
With that objective in mind, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL), a potential presidential frontrunner, used his time before the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Maryland to exercise his right to boldly lie about the president. Unfortunately, even a group accustomed to having their politicians and pundits lie to them on a daily basis, expect at least a grain of truth – and Rubio failed to clear that, admittedly low, bar.

Hoping to kill two birds with one stone, Rubio claimed that Obama’s negotiations with Iran were preventing him from going after ISIS.

“In [Obama’s] mind, this deal with Iran is going to be the Obamacare of the second term, and he doesn’t want them sending military to the region because they think the region belongs to them.”

There is a lot to unpack in that brief remark, but rest assured nearly all of it is laughably wrong. For starters, the “deal with Iran” is not predicated on staying away from ISIS. To Rubio, all Muslims may look alike, but in the real world Iran has been outspoken and stringent in its condemnation of the radical Jihadist group. In fact, as Think Progress notes, Iran has been criticizing America for not going far enough against ISIS. Moreover, one of the things that suggests Obama’s historic negotiations with Iran may have a sliver of hope is the fact that both parties seem to unconditionally agree that ISIS needs to be destroyed and every world power needs to play a role in seeing that happen.

Secondly, Obama is already engaged in battle with ISIS and has been for some time. Fox News rushed to praise Turkey’s president for his airstrikes against ISIS, but ignored the fact that Obama has been giving ISIS hell for a great deal longer. Fox’s willful ignorance may explain why alarmingly few people in America know this fact: In Syria and Iraq, America and its partner nations have dropped an estimated 8,200 bombs in over 2,500 air strikes. If that doesn’t count as “sending military to the region” then what does?

So, we have republicans that don't really understand female anatomy, females in general, how freedom tends to go hand-in-hand with equality, and what exactly we're doing with ISIS. Seriously, being in the Senate you should have at least a tenuous grasp on our foreign policy.

So, you can excuse this guy for wondering if a bisexual couple might create a family of four, yes? This makes sense because, um, a bisexual or transgender couple (two) can somehow make multiples (four). This guy failed not only in science but in basic math. Ignoring the fact that transgender and bisexual are not even close to similar - one is gender and the other is sexual orientation. Does he need a lesson with stick figures?

You know how some people believe in those FEMA camps that are being built around the country? Maybe we should use those to take care of these republicans who are, frankly, losing their shit! But we should be humane about it. Let's let them live in an institution where doctors and nurses will care for them and let them believe that women are only good for making sandwiches and babies, gay people have gone the way of unicorns and transgenders were only a big joke on the public. Let them live happily believing that America never had slavery or committed horrors on Native Americans; that all Muslims are terrorists but we are winning the war against them on a daily basis. Basically, let them live in a fantasy world - because they are more than halfway there already.

3 comments (Latest Comment: 03/01/2015 16:59:51 by Will in Chicago)
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