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Author: velveeta jones    Date: 01/24/2016 15:01:03

Velveeta is beside herself. Sarah "word-pocalypse" Palin is BACK! And, she's supporting The Donald, a man who claims he could "stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters"


Sarah Palin give us actual quotes like this one from her endorsement speech:
Well, and then, funny, ha ha, not funny. But now, what they’re doing is wailing, 'well, Trump and his, uh, uh, uh, Trumpeters, they’re not conservative enough.'

Oh my goodness gracious. What the heck would the establishment know about conservatism? Tell me, is this conservative?

There's also this gem:
Where, in the private sector, you actually have to balance budgets in order to prioritize — to keep the main thing, the main thing — and he knows the main thing. A president is to keep us safe economically and militarily. He knows the main thing, and he knows how to lead the charge. So troops, hang in there, because help’s on the way because he, better than anyone, isn’t he known for being able to command, fire!


I bow to the feet of your brilliance Sarah Palin! How can I be more like you but sans spangles and hair bump and drunken family brawls? I just adore the way that you can throw phrases of ...... stuff... out into the air and, and, people will cheer.

Others have tried but never compared to your greatness. Michele Bachmann who once attempted to convince us that "carbon dioxide hasn't been proven to be harmful" or who reminded us that presidents cause diseases,

I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence.

Nice try Michele, but while your words strung together are inaccurate and clumsy they just don't compare with Ms Palin's brand of nothing that supposedly means something.

Also, what's great about the way Sarah does it, is that she just plows through, confidently knowing that eventually you'll catch up with her; if she makes a mistake in her, what I assume to be prepared, speech, she'll never ever let on. She'll just end it on a high note that includes specific words guaranteed to generate applause; like "vets" or "anti-establisment" or "America" or "God". You can practically write any shit and, if you end it on a high note your golden:

I'm sitting by the fire playing guns with order, you know? And I find Buddha to be an immigrant and a wall should be built to keep him out while still keeping our vets safe and warm while they kick the ass of ISIS. And marry a lamp post! Am I right?! Because America is great and puppies have cute little barks and with their soft, soft fur as they chase their little tails, are just adorable!"

See how this ends on a cute factor? Now you're thinking of puppies and not whatever else I said.

When you know you've seriously messed up and you try to cover it up it only makes it more awkward and seat-cringing. Here is a case in point; I take you way back to the year 1988 with one Mr. Dan Quayle:

This is NOT how it's done Danny Boy. Times have really changed and Sarah Palin is leading the way.

1 comments (Latest Comment: 01/24/2016 17:41:02 by AuntAzalea)
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