Having just barely made it safely out of High School, and only attending a college specializing in arts and crafts, Velveeta has no real wisdom about these matters regarding economics. The only economics I studied in school was for the home. After all, we were taught in my proper Southern conservative school that a clean, pleasant and well-managed home was the best path towards finding a respectable Christian husband. Regrettably, I remain, to this day, unmarried. But, my home continuously smells of primroses and freshly baked cookies, and my sheets are always freshly ironed.

So, I was shocked to recently learn that our government is paying money to banks, financial investors and other big corporations with names like AIG, GM, Citigroup, Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase, and Chrysler. While others, like Bear Stearns and Wachovia are being taken over by competitors rather than fail completely.

These companies are supposed to know how to make money!

Here’s the thing, George W. Bush told me to go shopping. He really did.



And, around that time, the limits on my credit cards went up. Odd, because I hadn’t really been using them that much, but up they went. And I was in the process of a major life change, so really those cards came in quite handy. And, of course, I support the troops, so if this helps, why not? I can’t join the service, so I did my part and shopped. I purchased a new washer/dryer, took friends out to dinner, traveled to NY to see shows, bought some new office furniture and, along with the usual expenses of gas, food, medical bills (both human and pet) crafting supplies, clothing and car maintenance, I did some major troop supporting.

I keep up with my minimum payments and all was good. Times were good! Well, unless you were one of the ones actually fighting in the war or had a loved one in Iraq on their 3rd tour.

One day, somewhere in early fall, the excrement hit the ventilating device, and it all fell apart. Yes, now I remember, the ones running for President stopped talking about Iraq and started talking about Freddie and Fannie and job losses and TARP’s and other things foreign to Velveeta’s delicate ears.

But I felt safe; I had a job, a car that runs fairly well and my health. That is, until the letters started coming telling me that my credit limit was inexplicably going back down and my rates were going up. It only took one badly timed unlucky event to put me behind. My credit card banks now hate me. They call, they write, they email me daily; and not in a friendly nice way. They whine that they need their money… they’re broke and need a bailout – yet many of them still have enough money in their clutches to pay for TV commercials with pricey special effects that run on and on and on, featuring vikings and dancing football players, or, telling me how "priceless" it would be to shock my lover with matching sports cars. Sheesh! And, one of the credit card companies that persists in hounding me to no end seems to have enough stocked away to pay for naming rights to the new Mets Baseball stadium! I'm NOT kidding!

I will pay them in full the lousy 2.4k I owe them, right now if they will change the name to Velveeta Jones Field. Oh, Imagine that! Ahhhh. I might even become a Mets fan. [No! Retract. Retract!]

So, tell me again why my taxes are bailing out my banks? And, if they are getting my money - money that I’d prefer to see spent on Headstart, school lunch programs, disability assistance, public transportation, Green technology and the NEA, then my question is this:

WHY THE HELL DO I STILL HAVE TO PAY FINANCE CHARGES AND LATE FEE’S?

Greedy bastards!