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Velveeta Goes to Washington.
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 06/08/2008 13:26:00

Hillary! Are you kidding me? You CANNOT give this speech. I'll say it again; its supposed to be a concession speech. Try once more. If you canít come up with something a bit more gracious, Iím going back to our writers and have them work on something for you. You need to tone down some of this. I say this with all due respect.

Iím giving this copy to this new intern and telling her to shred it!

Back to the drawing board. Third time the charm?

Best,
Terry


Stupid suspension speech:

My fellow Americans, My friends and supporters. (HUGE applause. Smile and point to a few people like your surprised and happy to see them in the audience). No. Please, ......... Thank you, thank you. No please.......... I want to start by saying how grateful I am to all of you. All of you that poured your hearts and soul into my campaign. All of you that took time to work for the campaign, knocking on doors, arguing with your neighbors and most importantly, contributing to my campaign, by going to Hillary dot com and supporting our efforts. Thank you ALL! (Pause here for applause and cheers - maybe do some more pointing?)

I come before you today to announce that I am suspending my campaign, temporarily, and I am throwing my full support behind my stubborn and stalwart opponent Barack Hussein Obama. (Pause. People will begin weeping and booing).

Some of you may ask, why suspend it? Well, as you are all aware, the young Senator from Illinois has been able to secure enough delegates, despite the fact that I received more votes from every primary state. And, just as a reminder, that I would be the winner if we were using the same rules as the Republicans. Why suspend it rather than throw in the towel you might ask? Well, as we all know, I clearly have more supporters than the inexperienced, yet passionate, Jr Senator, and we also know things can happen during June. I am not saying anything beyond that, just making a point that, sometimes, a person thinks he might be the "winner", while others behind the scenes have other plans. (Cheers?)

Now, to my 18.5 Million supporters - supporters like Mrs. Herbert Twitty of Pikesville TN, who sold one of her kidneys in order to send me the maximum contribution; Or, little Bobby McNeil of Linder Grove, NJ who is not old enough to vote, but contributed to our campaign by writing an oral report for his fourth grade class entitled: "Why Hillary Clinton would be a better President than some Black Dude" and then collected lunch money from his classmates and sent it to me at Hillary dot com. These, and all my other honorable and loyal supporters, all 19 Million of you, I now ask you to stand with me in supporting Barack Husain Obama as President of the United States - - unless, as I say, something were to happen. (Pause for applause and cheering. They love me!)

By merely suspending it, I would be able to step right back in if the young Democratic candidate was unable to complete his run; for whatever reason. And I am sure that his supporters, as well as my 20.5 Million supporters, would join me in taking the white house! We can and WILL be the CHANGE that this Country so desperately needs. (Wait for applause and people chanting "Yes we Will").

People cannot continue with the Bush policies that John McCain will bring. While the very experienced Senator McCain has been vetted and has proven himself to work across the aisle, he is not the kind of change we need. We need someone who will help people like Vivian Gulthmier of Pleasant Point, PA who pulled me aside and said, with tears in her eyes, "please help me get health care. I have diabetes, a brain tumor and chronic bromhidrosis. I work 3 jobs and had to sell my house and I and my 5 children now live in the basement of a drug dealers house, only YOU can save us".

To all those millions and millions who voted for me, and contributed to Hillary dot com or who will be contributing to Hillary dot com; its to you that I have I pledged my utmost, my commitment to you and to the progress we seek is unyielding. You have inspired and touched me with the stories of the joys and sorrows that make up the fabric of our lives and you have humbled me with your commitment to our country. (Oh, this is good, there's sure to be cheering here. Look stoic!)

Today, as I suspend my campaign, I congratulate Senator Osama, I mean, Obama, on the victory he has won and the extraordinary race he has run; against all the controversies surrounding him, like the Rev. Wright sermons, and his close ties with criminal friends Rezko and terrorist William Ayers. I endorse him, and throw my full support behind him. And, I vow to stand behind him if, again, he decides that he might not have the experience that he thought and decides to keep his job in the Senate. And I ask all 25 Million of you who voted for me in the primaries, to join me in working as hard for Barack Obama as you have for me. You can go to Hillary dot come to send your support to Barack Obama, and I'll be sure that he gets the money.

We cannot let this great opportunity to put a Democrat in the Oval Office slip out of our hands and that is why I am asking you to support Barack Obama. Because with him as our President, we will have Universal Health Care. Sure, it won't be a plan as good as mine, but it'll be a start. We will have an end to the war in Iraq. We'll have fiscal responsibility, similar to that which we had under the last Democratic President, my husband, Bill Clinton!! (Wave's of applause!!)

My heart is filled with gratitude for my 30 Million supporters; and you fill me with nothing but optimism and confidence for the days ahead. This is now our time to do all that we can to make sure that in this election we elect a Democratic President so that we can take back our country and once again move with progress and commitment to the future.

Thank you all and God bless you and God bless America. (CHEERS!!!! Donít forget to go grab Bill, dammit)

********************

Just in fun folks. I thought she did a wonderful speech and I look forward to ending the bickering between friends and working hard to get Obama into the White House!

83 comments (Latest Comment: 06/09/2008 11:30:45 by Random)
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Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 13:40:38
Fun take on the Hillary concession speech Velveeta!

I'm even thinking of e-mailing an old friend (rabid Hillary supporter) today and offering an olive branch, but things are complicated as we once were a couple, but I am feeling quit magnanimous today, so vamos a ver... Thanks for the entertaining post :D

Cheers,

mfaye

Comment by TriSec on 06/08/2008 13:50:11
Seen in a sidebar on the front page of today's Globe:



"Sometimes your candidate loses...Then, you vote for the next best candidate. You don't pout and whine and vote for somebody you really don't believe in. You don't stamp your feet and refuse to vote. In short, you grow up."



From columnist Susan Jhirad...

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 14:16:28
It is already 91 degrees here on Long Island. Good thing I'm in air-conditioning.



:Thud:

Comment by velveeta jones on 06/08/2008 14:25:58
Off to werk.



Ug.



:gobama:

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 14:27:16
Quote by livingonli:

It is already 91 degrees here on Long Island. Good thing I'm in air-conditioning.



:Thud:




Hang in there Liv,

I off to mow my grass before the rains come again - I think it's only in the 80s here right now. Do you have to work today? Hope you can kick back and relax in the AC :D

Cheers,

mfaye



Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 15:01:18
Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by livingonli:

It is already 91 degrees here on Long Island. Good thing I'm in air-conditioning.



:Thud:




Hang in there Liv,

I off to mow my grass before the rains come again - I think it's only in the 80s here right now. Do you have to work today? Hope you can kick back and relax in the AC :D

Cheers,

mfaye



Yeah, I am working OT today. Good thing that the place I work is air-conditioned. If I was off today, I would probably just stay in the living room watching TV and surfing the net.



And now it's off I go.

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 15:09:43
Random is down this morning...

*sighs*

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 15:13:49
Quote by Random:

Random is down this morning...

*sighs*




What's got you down, Random?

Anything I can help with? Please just let me know :D

Cheers,

mfaye

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 15:18:51
Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by Random:

Random is down this morning...

*sighs*




What's got you down, Random?

Anything I can help with? Please just let me know :D

Cheers,

mfaye


unless you know how to make gas prices go down.

Cause gas prices are getting up there, i'm going to have to stop taking my paycheck and putting it away for college, and instead take money out so i can just afford to drive to work.

Comment by BobR on 06/08/2008 15:26:49
ME-ow, Velveeta... :P



I have to say, as good as her speech was yesterday, there were times when her eyes were NOT selling the words coming out of her mouth. Not that I blame her - it's tough to fight that hard and then admit the other guy won... it's just an observation.

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 15:40:27
Quote by Random:

Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by Random:

Random is down this morning...

*sighs*




What's got you down, Random?

Anything I can help with? Please just let me know :D

Cheers,

mfaye


unless you know how to make gas prices go down.

Cause gas prices are getting up there, i'm going to have to stop taking my paycheck and putting it away for college, and instead take money out so i can just afford to drive to work.




Random,

I hear that Last summer mfaye had enough extra scratch so that she could pay a guy to cut her grass and edge it all really nice, but this summer mfaye is out there mowing her own grass and the edge looks like shit, 'cause she can't get her weed whacker started It's tough times all around, at least I have a job that pays me not quite enough to live on :P

Cheers,

mfaye



Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 15:45:27
Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by Random:

Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by Random:

Random is down this morning...

*sighs*




What's got you down, Random?

Anything I can help with? Please just let me know :D

Cheers,

mfaye


unless you know how to make gas prices go down.

Cause gas prices are getting up there, i'm going to have to stop taking my paycheck and putting it away for college, and instead take money out so i can just afford to drive to work.




Random,

I hear that Last summer mfaye had enough extra scratch so that she could pay a guy to cut her grass and edge it all really nice, but this summer mfaye is out there mowing her own grass and the edge looks like shit, 'cause she can't get her weed whacker started It's tough times all around, at least I have a job that pays me not quite enough to live on :P

Cheers,

mfaye



I'll get through it.

Comment by BobR on 06/08/2008 15:56:05
Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 16:14:28
Now playing at work: Soundstage: Lyle Lovett in HD.

Comment by Raine on 06/08/2008 16:32:02




Obama Speaks to staff and volunteers at Campaign HQ in Chicago on June 6. 13 minutes I think is very much worth the time.

Comment by BobR on 06/08/2008 16:38:20
On Obama's home page:



http://www.barackobama.com/images/feature/08/06/05_thankyouhillary.jpg




This is what "class" looks like...

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 17:44:35
Random is trying to cheer himself up.

And to celebrate what has happened in the past week.

I'm watching "Head of State"

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 18:16:59
You gotta do what it takes to brighten up your mood. Believe me, that's the way I am.



BTW, to our Atlanta and Florida bloggers. How's the weather? Is it as hot down there as it is here?

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 18:19:20
Quote by livingonli:

You gotta do what it takes to brighten up your mood. Believe me, that's the way I am.



BTW, to our Atlanta and Florida bloggers. How's the weather? Is it as hot down there as it is here?


Hot and Humid...VERY Hot and Humid.



"What's the matter, Democracy doesn't work when you're losing?"

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 18:42:47
A good day to sit in an air-conditioned room and watch TV or a good day to lay by the pool and go for a dip.

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 18:59:36
I just reliezed how particularly...not good, that movie was.

It was funny, but not really that good...



Random's happy now though.

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 19:45:19
How come the Marlins can't fill up even somewhat Dolphin Stadium? On Friday, they only had 14,000 people and it holds 80,000 and I see a lot of empty seats at today's game when I look up at the monitors. Both the Marlins and Reds feeds are originating from our building.

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 19:47:55
Quote by livingonli:

How come the Marlins can't fill up even somewhat Dolphin Stadium? On Friday, they only had 14,000 people and it holds 80,000 and I see a lot of empty seats at today's game when I look up at the monitors. Both the Marlins and Reds feeds are originating from our building.


Marlins aren't a drawing crowd, never really have been.

Here and South Florida, the Dolphins get the fans, not the Marlings.



Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/08/2008 20:13:44
Just saw Stephanie on the TV machine at the Gay Pride parade. Quite the outfit. She called it dominatrix on crack. She was also dancing. Oh, dear. I guess the outfit didn't come with rhythm.

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 20:38:59
Quote by IzzyBitz:

Just saw Stephanie on the TV machine at the Gay Pride parade. Quite the outfit. She called it dominatrix on crack. She was also dancing. Oh, dear. I guess the outfit didn't come with rhythm.




Poor Stephanie,

I guess Chris didn't even stick around to attend her coronation - he's spending the weekend in San Fran... with friends like that, who needs enemas (ha ha).

Cheers,

mfaye :D



Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 20:42:33
Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by IzzyBitz:

Just saw Stephanie on the TV machine at the Gay Pride parade. Quite the outfit. She called it dominatrix on crack. She was also dancing. Oh, dear. I guess the outfit didn't come with rhythm.




Poor Stephanie,

I guess Chris didn't even stick around to attend her coronation - he's spending the weekend in San Fran... with friends like that, who needs enemas (ha ha).

Cheers,

mfaye :D



I'm waiting for the YouTubes of this event. :D

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/08/2008 20:44:27
Faye, Your girl Rebecca was there, but she wasn't dressed up. There's always a pooper at every parade.

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/08/2008 20:47:45
Quote by livingonli:

Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by IzzyBitz:

Just saw Stephanie on the TV machine at the Gay Pride parade. Quite the outfit. She called it dominatrix on crack. She was also dancing. Oh, dear. I guess the outfit didn't come with rhythm.




Poor Stephanie,

I guess Chris didn't even stick around to attend her coronation - he's spending the weekend in San Fran... with friends like that, who needs enemas (ha ha).

Cheers,

mfaye :D



I'm waiting for the YouTubes of this event. :D




They might have video at www.lapride.org



Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 20:59:00
Quote by IzzyBitz:

Quote by livingonli:

Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by IzzyBitz:

Just saw Stephanie on the TV machine at the Gay Pride parade. Quite the outfit. She called it dominatrix on crack. She was also dancing. Oh, dear. I guess the outfit didn't come with rhythm.




Poor Stephanie,

I guess Chris didn't even stick around to attend her coronation - he's spending the weekend in San Fran... with friends like that, who needs enemas (ha ha).

Cheers,

mfaye :D



I'm waiting for the YouTubes of this event. :D




They might have video at www.lapride.org



Parade replays may be streaming off West Hollywood City Channel 10.

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 21:04:32
Quote by IzzyBitz:

Faye, Your girl Rebecca was there, but she wasn't dressed up. There's always a pooper at every parade.






Hey there Izzy,

Don't go dissin' my friend Rebekah - she's hot no matter what she's wearin' :D

Cheers,

mfaye

BTB, lapride.com is another kinda site altogether - va va voom...

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/08/2008 21:10:40
Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by IzzyBitz:

Faye, Your girl Rebecca was there, but she wasn't dressed up. There's always a pooper at every parade.






Hey there Izzy,

Don't go dissin' my friend Rebekah - she's hot no matter what she's wearin' :D

Cheers,

mfaye

BTB, lapride.com is another kinda site altogether - va va voom...




Her dancing skills made up for her lack of gay attire!

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 21:21:32
Quote by IzzyBitz:

Quote by m-hadley:

Quote by IzzyBitz:

Faye, Your girl Rebecca was there, but she wasn't dressed up. There's always a pooper at every parade.






Hey there Izzy,

Don't go dissin' my friend Rebekah - she's hot no matter what she's wearin' :D

Cheers,

mfaye

BTB, lapride.com is another kinda site altogether - va va voom...




Her dancing skills made up for her lack of gay attire!


But she didn't bring the dogs. Although I wonder if she did, would they have turned gay?

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/08/2008 22:03:10
Max would have been wooed by little doggies wearing leather and "gay" sweaters!

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 22:18:38
How far into the show before Momma and mookette came in?

Comment by livingonli on 06/08/2008 22:36:30
I had to run out and roll up my car windows because we had a thunder storm. Just like other places when it's hot and humid.

Comment by Random on 06/08/2008 23:21:15
Hello All, Random got himself an all new game...So...If you dun see me for hours...or days...or even weeks...you knows why.

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 23:56:46
I just watched over an hour and a half just to get a glimpse of fair Rebekah - who has much better rhythm than Momma - I'm just sayin'...

Cheers,

mfaye

Comment by m-hadley on 06/08/2008 23:58:16
Quote by livingonli:

How far into the show before Momma and mookette came in?


Over an hour and a half... watch and learn or watch and burn...

Cheers,

mfaye :D



Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/09/2008 00:12:19
Stephanie showed up a little over 2 hours in. It would have been oh so spectacular if she had come down the street riding on a Harley with Dykes on Bikes.

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/09/2008 00:18:59
Now is the time of year when I don't mention the weather conditions in my hood because I know it will only make you bitter. :sprint:

Comment by livingonli on 06/09/2008 00:23:41
And we're getting another thunderstorm here. Two in one day is kind of unprecedented.

Comment by IzzyBitz on 06/09/2008 00:32:52


Comment by livingonli on 06/09/2008 00:42:49
Quote by IzzyBitz:

Quote by livingonli:

And we're getting another thunderstorm here. Two in one day is kind of unprecedented.




Uh, oh. God is mad at the gays living on Long Island.


B--b-ut, they have to go to Manhattan for the parade.

Comment by TriSec on 06/09/2008 00:57:11
WHat the hell???



I just saw the National Anthem here at the Boston Garden for game two...



Not a single player or coach placed a hand over their heart, had on a flag pin, or indeed even stood at attention.



I guess I can't support them then. Going to throw my lot with the Phoenix Suns.



I wonder why the NBA hates America?





Comment by TriSec on 06/09/2008 01:04:19
And now I'm off to the flying field....going to have the game as in-flight entertainment this evening.



:peace:



Comment by BobR on 06/09/2008 01:18:47
Quote by livingonli:

You gotta do what it takes to brighten up your mood. Believe me, that's the way I am.



BTW, to our Atlanta and Florida bloggers. How's the weather? Is it as hot down there as it is here?


Supposed to be a high of 97 today, and it sure as hell felt like it. It's just now down to 88... : <-- sweat drops :thud:

Comment by livingonli on 06/09/2008 01:20:01
Someone made sure to have ABC on the in-flight TV system.



JetBlue's DirecTV service includes CBS, Fox, and NBC but not ABC.

Comment by BobR on 06/09/2008 01:20:57
Quote by livingonli:



Parade replays may be streaming off West Hollywood City Channel 10.


I'm not going to watch a parade online for 2 hours... I'll wait until there's a YouTube of just Steph's part...

Comment by livingonli on 06/09/2008 01:23:33
Quote by BobR:

Quote by livingonli:

You gotta do what it takes to brighten up your mood. Believe me, that's the way I am.



BTW, to our Atlanta and Florida bloggers. How's the weather? Is it as hot down there as it is here?


Supposed to be a high of 97 today, and it sure as hell felt like it. It's just now down to 88... : <-- sweat drops :thud:


Do you guys have a pool to go to when the weather's hot?

Comment by BobR on 06/09/2008 01:25:44
We saw Michelle Malone today at the local arts festival in our neighborhood. She was big on the local rock scene in the 80's and 90's, and apparently is trying to get back into it again.



She rocked southern blues style, like a cross between Bonnie Raitt and Janis. She's a slide-guitar playing belt it out dirty south grrrl.