Dateline: Eternia. Recently learning the SHOCKING news that Chris Christie will NOT be running for President, made in an hour long speech with all media outlets foaming at the mouth waiting for this announcement, Skeletor, Evil Lord of Destruction, has decided to call a press conference to announce that he will also not run for President at this time. Certainly, leaving us to wonder if he'll possibly run in 2016.
Following the devastating announcement by Gov. Christie, and not to be outdone, Sarah Palin took to the podium and airwaves to announce her own non-candidacy! (This seems to be a trend, perhaps I should make public my intentions not to run)? ABC News broke the story with this bold headline: Sarah Palin Says She Will Not Run For President.
To be clear: Velveeta will Not Run For President Either. I hope the masses will understand.
In his massive press conference, Gov. Christie hinted that he would be running in 2016, as soon as he lost some weight and cleaned up the damage to his state made by the cast's of The Jersey Shore and the Housewives of New Jersey. You can read his remarks here in a transcript with pictures of cats.
In Eternia, Skeletor has been the supreme ruler of Snake Mountain for some many decades but has often made his intentions to overtake Castle Gray Skull and thus rule all of Eternia and indeed the entire Universe, quite clear. Often stymied by his nemisis (and rumored to be his nephew) He-Man the true owner of the Castle, Skeletor had recently hired a new minion to press his Evil agenda. but has still made little head way. His plans often fall short due to his own staff's incompetence, and many in the Republican party leadership have been critical of his hiring acumen, privately saying that along with his inflated ego, make his chances for nomination to be a long shot.
Many Dems agree that Skeletor is not much of a threat unless he can refine his recruiting skills, as evidenced below where his one of his staff makes a rookie mistake.