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George Pataki
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 08/09/2015 14:04:34

Velveeta is only now learning that George Pataki is running for President. Did ya'll know this? When did this happen?

Since he obviously won't be around long, let me write a little bit about him so we can get to know who he is before he quietly goes back from whence he came.

George Pataki was born in Hungary and came to the USA with his parents as a wee child. His Mother, knowing that her only child was destined for greatness, had his birth certificate forged to say he was born in New York State. As a young child he played with dolls and would dress them up as boys leading them into pretend brutal wars with other dolls. He would name all the dolls "George".

Pataki went to Yale with George W. Bush, but unlike his friend, was able to graduate in just 3 years. After school he married the first woman that spoke to him and went on to start his political career. His first stop was to became Mayor of Peekskill NY, soon followed by becoming a NY senator. In 1994 he ran for Governor of New York.

Thanks to the comedic stylings of Howard Stern he won the election and became the first Governor of NY named George Pataki; an accomplishment that has never been repeated to date.

He ran again in 1998 and won again because people were confused by all the candidates and the parties that were running that year. (Besides the Democratic Party there was also candidates running in the Liberty Party, The Freedom Party, The Independence Party and the Pineapple is our Safe Word Party).

His terms as Governor were fairly lackluster, in fact, people would often forget who their Governor was. When questioned, the average New Yorker would tilt their head and take a guess, "um, is it Cuomo?" was the most often response.

His most popular accomplishment was casinos. Otherwise he followed his leader, Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

Pataki is not going to make it very long in this Republican Party. Other than being pro death penalty and pro tax on the poor, he is otherwise in direct contradiction of the Republican party platform. He believes that women should have the freedom to choose what to do with their own body! He believes in Global Warming. He expanded Health care. It's rumored that he is 'okay' with same sex marriage.

Bottom line, he won't last very long in this party. So today we say Hello and Goodbye to Gov. George Pataki. Here's your parting gift:


1 comments (Latest Comment: 08/09/2015 14:41:00 by AuntAzalea)
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