BREAKING NEWS, dateline: May 2, 2009 Northern VA.
GOP strategists (sic) met today at Mario’s Pizza and Grill in a strip mall just outside of Washington D.C., to brainstorm on an agenda that included plans for taking back America, to be followed by taking over the world. Top republicans, Jeb Bush, Mitt Romney, and Eric Cantor held this town-hall meeting with several of the town folk - once they passed a background check and consented to signing a loyalty agreement – over pizzas, salads, sodas and Mario’s famous Garlicky Rolls™. Noticeably missing was RNC Chairman Michael Steele, who, following the conference was found out back, anxiously pacing around the dumpsters.
First order of business; coming up with a catchy new name that sounds patriotic, harmless and all-inclusive with an emphasis on making the GOP appeal to young voters. Many good ideas came out:
Americans for a New and Improved America.
Americans for America Only
Young ‘Cans 4 a New ‘Merica (Sounded hip but may not hold up long term).
Youth Brigade, America First!
New Youth American Project.
Americans for a New United States.
Patriots United in Strong, Sensible Youth.
The latter two were discarded due to the indecorous acronyms that might be used; good call Mr. Bush!